Another detour
Hi friends and fam.
Just wanted to a drop a quick note to loop you in a bit. It's been a while since I've written and a lot has happened over the last few weeks.
As some of you know, I’ve been gearing up for my facial reconstruction and working hard (lots of therapy, y'all) to get to a place where I feel like I can emotionally handle what will likely be a pretty intense physical process. Two weeks ago I had a battery of scans and imaging as part of the pre-op planning and it seems we have run into a road block.
The scans are showing 3 nodules on my left lung that, due to size, location and calcification, are rather worrisome. Obviously nothing can officially be determined until the nodules are removed and biopsied so I am doing my best to stay positive. My doctors believe that right now surgery is the solution, regardless of whether or not this is cancer rearing it's head again. They will take them out and we will all be pleasantly surprised if it’s nothing but also be prepared if it is something.
My oncologist feels that if it has indeed metastasized the surgery will likely be enough and chemo will not be be necessary, which is a huge relief (🙌🏼) Regardless, I will begin to get scans every 12 weeks and they will be watching me like a hawk. All of my doctors feel very confident that this is a treatable situation and I take great comfort in that.
Things are moving quickly and I will be having surgery tomorrow, Tuesday, at 10am at Hospital of University of Pennsylvania. The surgery (a walk in the park compared to the others!) is only about 45 minutes long and results in a 5" incision down the back and 3-5 days in the hospital, but the overall recovery is 6 weeks which is pretty significant.
I once again feel like I’m in an alternate universe but also am keenly aware that this could be a much worse situation so I’m grateful they found it and grateful to have amazing doctors that are compassionate and kind and as smart as they come. I also continue to have an incredible support system in my family and friends and have already been bombarded with love and support in just the past 48 hours alone.
Overall, I’m doing ok. I think. Kind of depends on the moment. It's been an insane 2 weeks. Some moments I feel level headed and other moments I feel like I could punch a wall. I'm frustrated and annoyed. I'm TIRED. The kind of tired that leaves me snappy and irritable and weepy and just not the most pleasant person to be around. I'm tired of appointments and scans and bloodwork that leaves me with painful bruises on my arms. I'm tired of the insurance company denying my PET scan because they don't think it's "medically necessary." And I'm already in the process of retaining a healthcare attorney because I've been informed that my facial reconstruction is "elective dental" and therefore will not be covered (can you EVEN?!?!?!). So it kind of feels like I'm fighting a lot and I don't like that. It doesn't resonate with my spirit and I'm trying to find a balance so I'm just doing my best day by day, moment by moment...as we all are.[...]
