It demands to be felt. Pain, that is. That's one of my favorite lines from John Green's The Fault in Our Stars - it's a profound concept. I couldn't ignore the pain I felt in the emergency room before the surgeon fixed my broken vertebrae. I can't forget the nights of agony when neurons fired angry relentless messages to my brain that my back was on fire from the nerves being severed or stretched in my spine. Even now the ache refuses to go away through the day, and every morning mid torso down I feel unbelievably stiff and have to fight with my left hip to lift my leg and stretch the sore and tight muscles.[...]

My dad's love language is giving books. He finds no greater pleasure than passing on a text he values to someone he cares about. Years ago, he became enamored with the writings of Watchman Nee. He bought up every print copy of the book he could find and even went so far as to find the publisher with copyrights to ask for more when he discovered most of Nee's books were out of print. The particular text he sought out in bulk was Sit, Walk, Stand, Nee's look at the book of Ephesians. I was among the dozens if not hundreds who received a copy of the book from my dad. Unlike the majority of his crusade texts, I actually read this one. Granted, he made a big deal of it, so I mostly did it to get him to stop asking me if I'd read it.[...]

"What is wrong with your socks?"
"Do any of your socks match?"
"Your socks are not a pair."
"How very American."
"All Americans wear mismatched socks."[...]

I was prepared for my first social outing to be an emotionally overwhelming event, however, I was not prepared to receive quite the welcome that I did when I wheeled into the BFA staff appreciation dinner last night. I thought I could make an inconspicuous entrance since I'm short in my wheelchair. I'm a little suspicious the tall Canadian behind me was waving his hands or something to draw attention to me... I barely made it into the building before people started clapping, and then they started standing up across the room. From the outside, I'm sure it looked strange to see a room full of adults dressed to the nines applauding a wheelchair bound girl in sweatpants. For me, I was keenly aware of how incredibly loved I am, and I'm so grateful for it.[...]

The concept of home is difficult for an expat. I've read sentiments that express an expat can never fully come home because she has left part of her heart in different places. I don't know how I feel about all those sappy statements, but there is some truth behind them. I struggled with the concept of home before I even considered moving overseas, yet I'm stubbornly sure Portland will always be the home of my heart. Even so, Kandern is also my home. So is REHAB Basel for now though it's a home I'm eager to transition out of.[...]

I just got the news today that I've been officially approved to stay at REHAB Basel until June 30! I don't usually check my email on the weekends, but I made an exception realizing there was a chance I got an email late Friday in America that wouldn't have come through until yesterday for me. Sure enough, I had an email waiting that said I was approved - with the corresponding documentation to prove it - to stay here until June 30. I'm overjoyed with this news. Thank you so much for your prayers.[...]

I'm not as clever as you all give me credit for. I appreciate it, but as an English teacher, I need to give credit where it is due. "Decreasing world suck" is not a term I came up with: www.fightworldsuck.org has been around for a while and each year the Project for Awesome raises money and a worldwide community votes to give the resources to causes that they vote for. My sincerest thanks for the benefit of the doubt you all gave me, but the odds are that my clever phrases are allusions to the Nerdfighter community or some obscure literary icon. [...]

We went a different way home from Starbucks. Sarah found a landmark in the skyline, and we worked our way back through other slopes in the city until we found the Main Street that leads back to REHAB.[...]

This is my story, this is my song. Sometimes the plot is hard to follow, or the melody is difficult to hear, but I have a blessed assurance none the less. [...]

Yesterday I caught my doctor in the hall and asked if I could have permission to go with Sarah into the city for a couple hours this afternoon. He said yes with no hesitation, and before the end of the day, I had a signed pass for my first outing outside of REHAB. There was no hesitation in my choice of location.[...]