As I begin my fifth round of at home chemo, I feel great. I know this is just a ruse. There are a few basics that I know to be true:

1) If I do not start miralax tonight and continue to drink a dose every single day until Sunday, I will pay for it starting on about Thursday.[...]

On Monday I saw my neuro oncologist (A.K.A. Dr. No Naps) for a very quick check up. There was no scan so no news on the tumor bed and he has no reason to think there is an issue there. The blood work, on the other hand, continues to show extremely low lymphocyte counts, which means I have a severely compromised immune system. Now I'm a bit paranoid and although it would not suit me to be on house arrest, I've struggled with the stress of leaving the house this week. It would just suck to survive brain surgery, to have fought and won insurance payment for proton therapy, and have struggled with the food issues just to die of pneumonia because I caught a cold. Therefore, I will not engage in the following activities, effective immediately:[...]

Some have asked for a quick update just so everyone knows what is happening with me. My fourth at home, 5 day chemo treatment ended a little over a week ago. This means that I'm 1/3 of the way through this treatment round. Once again, Jason feels that it went a little better than the time before. I had 2 bad days, the last day of my pill and the following day. I was a bit moody, not hungry, and fatigued. Within days I was back to my new normal and had a lot more energy. I've been able to get back to work on a more regular basis and I feel that all of my current issues are medication related side effects except for maybe one and it's the damndest thing. I am pretty sure I have the most reasonable explanation.[...]

Apparently there is high demand for the latest update. Jason has had me running around so much that I just haven't had time to sit down and write the post. We arrived in Houston on Friday and spent time with family and friends up north. We then drove down to see Bob & Lois at the condo on Saturday. Sunday was our first appointments. We had a difficult time finding where to get the blood draw for the research protocol on a Sunday. The appointment was for 9 AM and we finally found the right place (on complete accident) at about 3 PM. That's the great thing about MDA, you are always learning something new. Helps spice things up a bit! We also had an MRI Sunday.[...]

The good news is that the third at-home chemo round is complete and there were no major incidents. I was a bit tired but still managed to exercise everyday. Without giving too much information, I will say that previously the chemo has consistently messed with my reproduction system so that although it is supposed to force me into menopause, not only has this not happened, I have consistently had visits from Aunt Flo DURING chemo week. What the hell is that? Seriously! Research shows that women over 40 have a more difficult time and more fatigue when Aunt Flo visits. To have it FOUR times in the middle of chemo (once when still in Houston) is just asking too much tolerance and patience from me. However, the universe gave me a break this time. Apparently the energy I was putting out was effective: threatening a psychotic breakdown, surgical intervention, whatever means necessary to get even. As many of you know, these things can throw you over the edge. Add chemo and you've got a volatile situation on your hands. I'm glad the powers of the universe finally came to their senses. [...]

This week has been a good one, I've even gone to work some. I'm learning that I'm better at predicting when my good weeks will be than how bad my chemo benders and chemo hangovers will be. What I do know is that dealing with chemo is like a boxing match. Just when you've learned how to evade the mean right hook, your opponent surprises you with a body blow that knocks the wind out of you. So, the way I see it, I just have to be ready for anything during the chemo benders and make sure I have an excellent cornerman. The better I do during the round, the better the hangover should be. Best laid plans, right? Maybe I should hire Mike Tyson. He's ruthless and skilled. If he's willing to bite off an ear, he's probably got some pretty good strategy. Plus he seems kind of hilarious and is basically unemployed.[...]

It seems that every chemo cycle comes with it's own set of lessons. The 42 days of chemo in Houston went fine. The first round at home came with a lesson on bowel management. The second round at home was over a week ago. I had learned enough to start the stool softener early. That part was managed well this time.[...]

There are so many things that are missing from my life. Some I lament, and to some I say "Good Riddance!" So let's go through the things that are missing, shall we?[...]

"Sometimes the transition from being in control of your life to having absolutely no control is swift, but other times it is so gradual that you wonder exactly when it truly began." Mickey Rooney[...]

What we learned today:

1. The 3 T MRI is indeed part of our original clinical study to observe the side effects of proton therapy. I will see the radiology oncologist every 8 weeks. This is great because he's my favorite. He says I say that to all the doctors. [...]