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Feeling vindicated is not always a good feeling, even when it makes you feel good. Feeling relieved because you knew you were right about your own body is also not always a good feeling, even though you are relieved that you knew your own body better than any of the doctors did.[...]
Caren's ortho appointment: Doctor is perplexed. MRI has been ordered. Some things are not going as expected. Caren may be facing extensive, serious surgery.[...]
Caren goes for yet another ortho appointment. This journey is like "the song that never ends." *sighs*
Maybe this journey is like being in a downpour, we will grow through this into an even more glorious, gorgeous flower. We are all affected.[...]
“If you’ve been there, done that, gotten the t-shirt, isn’t it time to move on to a new destination? Don’t waste a lot of time stressing the “could have’s” – because if it should have, it would have!”
― Mandy Hale[...]
There are many families in Michigan that are in need of reliable transportation, including my own family. Please consider donating vehicles that are no longer needed to The Original 1-800 Charity Cars. Full Fair Market Value Tax Deduction Possible, and Free Towing.[...]
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. –Maya Angelou[...]
Large Blessing. Thursday was unimaginable and it has taken me 2 days to type the last 2 posts. and transfer them here.
I got to meet the driver from the other vehicle that was in the wreck along with us in the head on collision for the very first time. She was not ejected like me, but she did have to be extricated. I saw that in the police report. I was hoping she would have some morsel of information to offer to the whole lot of puzzle pieces that still float inside my mind.
I have thought about her often. I can remember thinking about her and prayed for her well being every day my memories allowed me to be aware of where I was and why I was in the hospital. Sometimes my pain would be so great...even still that I would forget about her until those moments when I had some relief and she would creep into my thoughts again. When I was first told what had happened to me I begged myself and have tried sooooooo hard to get my mind to remember something....anything about the wreck. I have just accepted at this point....that will never happen. I don't remember the wreck at all, and as it turns out, neither does she.....at all! Just nothing, like it never happened, except our bodies prove otherwise.
I felt joy seeing her, a closeness or knowingness, I know it sounds silly, but a relief that she was walking (with a walker) and living - (me with my wheelchair and cane)....sadness because I realize that since she can't remember she must be going through the same hell that I am to some degree and had so many questions for her that I couldn't make my mind remember or focus - it was all over the place and overwhelmed and overflowing with everything. I wasn't planning to meet her so I didn't make a list of questions ahead of time. I wish I had....just in case. My mind flooded with so many things to say and so many feelings all I could tell her was "I am sorry I don't remember the wreck". She said "that's okay honey neither do I". I held her hand and kissed it. It was surreal. Somehow.....to me anyway.....I needed that....to see her....to know she had help from her son who lives locally to her was also emotional for me. She said other words my mind doesn't remember. I remember her saying it will be okay and believing her and not hearing much else.....Such emotion.....such gratefulness.....that whatever happened to us both culminated to that moment.
I don't know.....how to go on from here.....but this was a sense of closure to the whole thing I have wanted for so long. Hopefully it meant the same to her. I will never know that part of it though....I know a long journey still awaits my physical form....but for now, I feel a moment of peace and cause to reflect differently....[...]
