Share. Connect. Love.
HOW YOU CAN HELP - (Current as of February 4, 2015)
Share this page with as many people as possible. Continue to offer Caren support through your words of encouragement through writing, letting her know you are out there, etc.[...]
UPDATE 11/30/2014:
Caren lives to see her 41st Birthday and continues to fight for each days progress and never gives up. Caren is a champion. She has started Counseling in addition to her Therapies. She is brave, committed, and powerfully driven to survive and move forward. Caren is a SURVIVOR!!![...]
Apparently I was at Spectrum Health Butterworth for surgery and recovery for 7 days, I was then transferred to an Acute Care Facility called MaryFreeBed for 7 days, My surgery was on October 8, 2014 and I was released from MFB on October 23, 2014 to go home with continued home care. To me it only felt like a few days....mostly aware of the MFB time. It is most strange to me how time continues to escape me......like fleeting granules of sand, falling through this hourglass of my life. How can the time disappear so easily.....so quickly....not remembered...like it never existed at all? You hear people talk about the events, the conversations, that sound like they are describing someone else entirely.[...]
I remember. I remember going to Spectrum Health Butterworth for surgery. I remember the surgeon calling me the night before after weeks of trying to get a hold of him to quash my fears and answer the questions, which to him were probably nonsense....but to me - were the words that drove my every waking breath and desire to understand what I was about to endure. I needed his reassurance. His candidness. His time. His empathy. His patience and his understanding. I needed his apology, which I doubt I will ever hear. I remember feeling frustrated and angry that he told me to call any time with questions and then never responded to those questions, leaving me hanging perilously from day to day as if I were waiting for my death sentence. Each moment, perhaps my last with each click of the clock which hung on the wall and taunted me so consistently with each passing hour, day, and night. To him he was probably busy, and thought I should just TRUST him because he was one of the best if not the best surgeon.....but how could I trust when that trust had been shattered like the pieces that lay inside my body still broken, painful, and damaged? That trust was broken by him and yet I craved his answers and solace to help me get through the coming days and weeks before that daunting day when I would go beneath his knife. I craved his humanity and his ownership for his role in my current state. Yet that never came.[...]
When electrical equipment malfunctions, I first check to see whether it is plugged in. Similarly, when I experience dysfunction or disease in mind or body, I check whether I am “plugged in” to God. If I have harbored faulty ideas, I let them go. If I have given power to beliefs of disharmony or sickness, I disconnect from those thoughts and reconnect to Truth.[...]
It feels like every waking moment I am consumed with thoughts of Caren, her successes, her setbacks, her triumphs, her challenges. And, I've prayed. I've prayer not only for Caren, but for our whole family and how this healing journey has impacted our lives. I am open and receptive to answers, to dwelling in that sacred space within - where my treasures of hope and glory, love and understanding, compassion and patience - all reside. [...]
