Well, I have been feeling like writing lately, but have been too busy living to do it! Time with my friend Jean, time at sangha, time with family, and a lovely swim in Lake Wingra yesterday.... As a result I feel "behind" on writing -- so many topics swirling through my mind.[...]

Ever since I knew I'd be losing my hair, I've been thinking about getting a "henna crown." Today, under the masterful hand of Poonam Rao of Celebrations Art Studio and the encouraging eye of my friend Jean who's visiting from New Zealand, it happened! Well, the artistic part has happened. I had to leave it untouched all day (including forgoing a nap!) and I'm even going to try to sleep with it on tonight (we'll see how that goes) to maximize the time for the henna to soak in from the black paste. Tomorrow when it peels off it should be a bright orange, then over 48 hours will oxidize and darken to a deep rust color. Then it will hopefully last a couple of weeks or maybe more if I don't scrub or swim in chlorine or shave and depending on my skin type and a lot of other variables!  I'll keep you posted. [...]

Well, my complaints about mild boredom were answered by the universe with an overnight stay for observation at the hospital! Since this is my first time being admitted overnight in my life, I guess it qualifies on the "unchosen adventure" side of things.  As I'd said, I was waiting to see if I was going to need another blood transfusion, and feeling like it was likely. Thursday I swam for about 35 minutes in the morning, but by afternoon I was feeling like I was starting to crash. This could still have been an after-effect of the steroids they give me the day of the chemo (Tues). But Friday and Saturday I was feeling the same light-headedness upon exertion that, after the previous carboplatin/taxol combo treatment, had gradually gotten worse until I needed a wheelchair to get from the car to the chemo infusion room the next week, and received 2 units of blood. [...]

I’ve noticed that I've not been feeling as motivated to write blog posts lately. I’m not sure why. Perhaps the novelty of this whole thing is wearing off. Having cancer. Being in chemotherapy. Writing a blog. All very novel, initially.  These days, it feels kind of like more of the same, so there’s not as much to write about. Waiting to see if I need a blood transfusion or not this round just isn't as interesting as it was last round. (So far I've been feeling limited, but not as limited, as the weekend after the last carbo/taxol round). [...]

Well my blood counts were high enough for chemo today and it all went smoothly enough. This is my week for the heavier-duty Taxol plus Carboplatin combination, which will likely make my blood counts plummet again. If so I will get another transfusion. The happy news is, Dr. O’Regan gave me the “okay” to go to clay camp July 12-17, and skip chemo that week! That will be the third week post-carboplatin, which is the one we had to skip last week, and she said, we might have to skip it anyway due to low blood counts, so why don’t you just go to camp! It’s possible if my counts are too low on the last week of the last cycle, she will postpone that treatment by a week rather than skipping it.[...]

Two follow-ups from my last post:

1) My dad did have several comments to offer on the post. Here is my summary of them: One, that many decisions are neither rational nor irrational, but are merely preferences; something is only irrational if it conflicts with achieving a goal that one holds.  (So his preference not to eat tilapia may not be rational, but it is not irrational either. BTW, they were his research subjects in 1963).  Two, that he doesn't have any problem with spirituality in general, but he does take issue with 1) mind-body dualism that posits some pure essence that is separable from the body, and 2) with belief in what authorities say when they assert something that is not easy to verify.[...]

I've been having a good visit with my Dad and brother Ari (see the picture of us three baldies!). We've been doing a lot of cooking and eating, exercising, hanging out with Sam & Sarah, celebrating Fathers' Day, and reading aloud together. We had a brief scare when Don's dad was taken to the ER in Indianapolis yesterday, but they sent him home without finding anything new wrong (he is nearly 96 and has a lot of issues already -- including some memory loss, which means he already doesn't remember the trip to the hospital!).[...]

Well the transfusion definitely helped. I went from needing a wheelchair on Tuesday morning to get from the car to the far side of the clinic, to being able to walk out on my own later that afternoon. And from barely being able to go up a flight of stairs without passing out, to being able to do some gentle workouts (including trying out a new fitness trainer, who was great, and a short swim in the lake) the last two days. I do not, however, feel like super woman, as one friend suggested I would! I think my hemoglobin is still low compared to what is "normal" for me (before the chemo started in March it was 14, and it was down to 7.9 the morning of the transfusion). I'm still feeling like I have to rest a lot, conserve my "spoons," and choose how I spend the ones I've got. And I am still managing other minor symptoms and side effects from the various treatments. [...]

Becca's chemo and transfusion was without incident today, though she had to spend 7 hours at the hospital. Three of us (Pat, Anita, and myself) took turns keeping her company. She required a wheelchair to get to oncology, because of her low hemoglobin (7.9, down from 14 before she started chemo), but she felt somewhat better after receiving two pints of blood and was able to walk out, though we decided not to go dancing tonight :-)

Many of you, and I myself, have been amazed at how well I’ve been doing through the chemo treatments so far. I’ve even gotten concerned communications from a few of you, reminding me that it’s important to give space and attention to sad & angry feelings. (I appreciate the concern, and want to reassure you that I do have practices, based in Re-Evaluation Counseling and a variety of coaching and meditation techniques, to help me do so). You & I have also been amazed at how much I’ve been committed to and able to keep exercising, and at how much Don & I have been able to ask for and be open to receiving help.[...]