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Twice this week we walked familiar halls, saw familiar faces, and felt familiar feelings of horror. I hate/fear/dread scan and lab days but know they are a necessary evil to give us the information we need.[...]
Today is another MRI to check the progress of his abdominal tumor. Next week will actually have an additional MRI to check for spread on his brain and spine.[...]
A year ago YESTERDAY we took Redden into the ER for an emergency scan to check the nodules under his skin. 11 small bumps on his body that felt like m&m's and frozen peas. Bumps that 9 different doctors had looked at and dismissed as 'random cysts that were not concerning.' Bumps that I noticed were getting bigger, that made me insist on our pediatrician taking a look. Bumps that made his typically joyful demeanor become stoic. Nevertheless, we assured each other that this was nothing. Google assured us it would be ok.[...]
Not only is Redden conquering cancer in the first year of his life, he has already had his first 5 minutes of fame! CURE has really been amazing, and we were happy to get on TV to talk about it along with raising awareness for childhood cancer. There are so many children fighting this fight along with parents who need the support to get through it. [...]
ONE YEAR OLD.
There were days we thought this milestone would never come. Yet, here we are. Handing him a cupcake (that he refused), and singing a song that feels much more meaningful when we know the battle it took to get here. Without tubes, without medicines, without a ventilator. WITH family, and friends, and hair, and so much happiness.[...]
Sorry it's been awhile since the post, but the last+ week has been very hard, and I completely forgot to update and spread the surgery outcome. [...]
DePORTation day (as it's known in the cancer world... har har) has finally arrived. That horrible and wonderful device that's been embedded into his body for 6 months is finally coming out. I can't find the right words to express how much relief we feel to get it out, but it's coupled with a lot of fear. We've grown comfortable in our measures of control that allow us to know how he's doing, and give him what he needs quickly. Letting go of the port is... letting go. Loosening our grip a little more and trusting that we are one step closer to remission.[...]
It's here... Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Where gold ribbons, bald heads, and big smiles will adorn your facebook feeds. Some you'll acknowledge and watch, and a few might move you to act, but if you're like the old version of me, most you will ignore. [...]
This week got us back in clinic for our weekly count check and an MRI. Scan days are the absolute hardest for me. I still remember so vividly how it felt to hear the code blue come across the loudspeaker when he went in for his very first MRI. And I feel that every single time I walk back through the doors. [...]
Today was the day.
The last dose of the big scary drug that was part of our life for almost 5 months. At one point we were up to 9 meds with dosages sometimes every 4 hours, 10 hours of drip feeds that got changed every 2.5 hours during the night, flushing PICC lines, changing dressing, pumping... so much more than I can comprehend now. Looking back on those moments I'm actually a little unsure how we did it all. But somehow, we did. We survived.[...]
