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Bobbie Goldie - Journal

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Posted 2016-04-26T17:29:51Z

Half way through purgatory

It's taken me a bit of energy to muster up enough strength to provide an update since my fourth chemo treatment on Thursday.  So this morning I finally do, and wouldn't you know it . . . I lose the entire blog.  All gone. Okay, okay so is this a big deal or a small deal?  After several descriptive words and a bit of a temper tantrum, it's a small deal, and it turned out in hindsight to be a good deal.  I sat on this chair for several hours feeling completely miserable.  My fifth consecutive day since chemo feeling awful.  As I was adding one photo to my blog, bam, it's all gone in the blink of an eye.  Curse, yell, curse, yell, and even a stomp.  Then all of a sudden I realize I feel the best I have since chemo.  Was it my blogging that made me feel better?  Was it my burst of anger, which was an actual exertion of some energy?  Who knows, so I will say a combination . . . anyways, I feel good enough to try to recreate my latest blog - so that is a real good deal![...]

Posted 2016-04-17T14:37:00Z

J. A. G.

One of the limited memories I have of my birth father is one of his favourite words I heard him use numerous times . . . jag.  If someone wasn't being nice or someone cut him off while driving he would call them a jag.  But he also used this word in the nickname he called me - Jaggy Lynn.  Please don't confuse his nickname for me as a derogatory term.  I know he meant it as a term of endearment.  And people that know me well know I intermingle descriptive words with terms of endearment such as "asshole" (guess that is trait I have picked up from my birth father).  And if you have been fortunate enough to be called an "asshole" by me you know how much I truly love you![...]

Posted 2016-04-09T15:22:00Z

Big Deal vs. Small Deal

On this Saturday morning, I am in need of some internal soul searching . . . so I must write.  The recent news from my new surgeon Dr. M. has me confused, sad, stressed, and angry.  What do I know?  That I have another tumor. I also know this changes my treatment plan.  What I don't know is how this changes my prognosis.  As there is absolutely nothing I can do with this current news besides stay on course with my chemo treatment until I get my MRI and gene panel tests, I must dig down deep and find the fortitude to keep on keeping on.[...]

Posted 2016-04-05T00:09:00Z

The Myth of Control

Was I planning on blogging today?  No.  Was I was planning on receiving the news I received from my first visit with my new surgeon?  No.  However, like everyday you have cancer, you never know what the day is going to bring you.  As the days go on with cancer the realization continues to sink in - you have no control.[...]