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Bobbie Goldie - Journal

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Posted 2016-06-24T05:31:43Z

It's been great

Geez, it's been almost two weeks since my last post.  I don't like waiting this long to write, and I have so much to share.  This may be a bit long, so lets get to it!  The first thing I want to start with is an update on my treatment.  Some of this may be old news for a few of you.  If so, you won't hurt my feelings if you skip to paragraph 6 :)[...]

Posted 2016-06-02T15:48:20Z

My emotional cocktail

As I sit here taking in my second to last chemo cocktail at PMH, I am full of mixed emotions.  It seems since I have been back from from our amazing trip to Wisconsin this continues to happen to me.   Yesterday I took the train and subway into the hospital and the office and I expected to continue my high from our trip, but no.  It was the opposite.  I was a complete wreck.  I kept crying and feeling fed up.  I was sick and tired of having to spend my days like this - hospital, works, home (nothing else).  I couldn't take my strong pain pills to maintain my pain level, otherwise I would be too loopy to be in the office.  I had to get up extra early to go to PMH for a blood draw so I didn't have to do it early in the morning today.  I was just feeling completely sucky (wow I think "sucky" is a word - it didn't autocorrect).  So on my train ride with my mask on I continued to get stares.  I couldn't tell if it was my crying or the mask that makes me look like I am contagious with some rare disease.  After the train I had to take the subway and after I swiped my pass to go through the turnstile some woman comes barreling through to exit through the same turnstile.  As I started going through she told me to "get the fuck out of the way".  I was shocked and I just stood there, so she had to push me out of the way.  The whole trip I was zombie like so this just put me over the edge.  I finally got on the subway and just cried.  I got to PMH and gave blood, and then got back on the subway and spent the day in the office.[...]