Oh my f@#!, I did it. I launched my personal podcast, Bobbie Goldie, The Memoir. Wow! I have created mountains to climb in my life, but boy, this is one that has me completely in the world of self doubt. And, yes, sometimes I am self-creator of mountains. You see, we have on average, 30,000 days on this planet, and right now I am about half way through. So, I am going to do my best to have no regrets and make a difference.[...]

As I am attempting to actually make a go of this book writing thing, I have received several recommendations that I need to move off of this cancer blog site.  This site has been absolutely great and has provided me a simple platform to write and manage through all of my feelings with my cancer journey.  However, I must move on.  I want to continue to write and share my feelings.  Not only am I done with cancer, but I also have so many more journeys I want to share.  [...]

As I am finishing up a second week of business travel sitting at the Houston airport with a delayed flight, it seems like a perfect time to tap on the keyboard.  It's been a crazy few weeks of travel, and I have not physically been in the office since March 10th . . . Mexico vacation, San Francisco business trip, and then this week Dallas and Houston business trip. . . phewwww.  The goal is to spend all of next week in the office.  Looking forward to this as I have not been in the office since they announced my departure from the Canada office.  Miss my peeps :)[...]

Sunday evening in the Goldie household and the realtor has just left our home and we have officially signed.  We are receiving our "Coming Soon" sign in our front yard tomorrow, as well as an appointment with the stager.  We will then begin the task of decluttering and temporarily storing items until the big move.  Photos to be taken by the end of the week.  Open house next week, and then the official date to start accepting offers soon after that.  Wow!  Shit is getting real now.  [...]

Wow, it's been over two months since my last post.  I have wanted to come on here and just let the keyboard flow; however, it just was not the right time.  Part of being a grown up is self control (well anyway that is what I have been told).  So what has been going on?  Wow, what hasn't been going on?  You would think after moving to a new country, losing your father, losing your mother, and then having cancer, there would not be much left. Ha, that's not the life of BLG.  We must always live on the edge.[...]

Life is a battle and if it isn't, you are not living up to your full potential. It has taken me over 40 years to figure this out. For most of my life I thought there was a permanent black cloud following me around. Life continued to test my fortitude in so many ways. For every obstacle I faced, I cursed it, I cried, I felt sorry for myself, and then I pulled up my big girl pants and did whatever I needed to do to face my challenge head on and conquer it. After the battle was over I felt amazing and I sincerely appreciated getting to fight the fight. Having cancer has given me an opportunity to look back on all the monumental moments in my life and realize I would not be the person I am today without each of these. I would be an older version of the poor little girl living in Wisconsin trying to just scrape by to be able to eat.[...]

I am currently sitting on a plane from Sydeny to Toronto writing this blog. After watching this movie on board, "Hands of Stone", I feel very compelled to write. If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend it. The main theme is boxing, but of course the message beneath resonated with me. There were a couple messages that brought me to tears. The first was the whole US and Panama thing. Growing up in Wisconsin and for many years in a small town of under 6,000, you just don't realize how big our world is. You don't realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and your small little town. And most importantly you don't realize there are many many humans outside of your town, your state, and even your country. And take this to another level for the younger generation reading this - no internet![...]

Wow wow, so much has happened since my last post.  I have wanted to write for many many days now; however, every time I wanted to, something got in my way such as the kids, work, Ginger our lovely dog . . . no really, Ginger would sit in my lap all curled up and I couldn't get my laptop near me.  There was emotion.  My emotions have been running so high lately for so many reasons, that when I want to sit down and type I mentally am not in the appropriate state of mind.  Yes, writing is very therapeutic for me, but there have been times these past four weeks were my emotions have been debilitating.  I am confident this is part of my cancer journey and I will get through it.  Just like we all make it through these trying times, but boy, does it stink.  I am learning I need to be patient and still allow myself some "give up" days.  These days are needed as I am physically and mentally still not 100% and my life continues to evolve and get back into a pattern day by day.[...]

Thursday night after a great Packers win over the Bears, I sit on my couch trying to force myself to fall asleep.  This couch has definitely been my most favourite spot during my cancer journey.  As I just typed this I now realize it is Friday morning.  My brain just won't shut off, and it's been consistently like this for the past couple weeks.  I feel like there is so much in my head but it is all a bunch of nothing.  My past two weeks has consisted of watching sports and the political US news channels, Twitter, and reading books with my kids.  I keep going back to my chemo days when the poison made me so anxious and I could not concentrate on a damn thing.  Now my brain is full of so much information but none of it means anything.  I cannot keep track of dates or things I have said or done.[...]

Have I said lately how absolutely much I love blogging?  I believe this has gotten me through my cancer journey.  Wait . . . I know this has gotten me through my cancer journey.  There is something so calming about typing my feelings.  I feel like I am not alone.  Baring my emotions to all the world is so freeing.  I understand this is not everyone's cup of tea, but this makes it even more important for me to do.  Our world needs people comfortable speaking up to do so on the behalf of our team.  A team is compromised of a group of people that all excel at different things.  My role on the cancer team is to share the good, the bad and the ugly.[...]