Woot woot woot - I had to go to the hospital today and they let me go home!!  Seems strange to start out with a journal entry with this statement; however, as I mentioned in my last blog, I have been dealing with this persistent staph infection.  I will again spare you the gory details, but long story short, my body is rejecting the tissue expander in my right breast due to the infection.  The past two days things seemed to be going in the wrong direction so I called the cancer nurses.  The message was to come in and bring an overnight bag, just in case.  Ha, isn't that a doozy, the cancer was in my left breast, but my right breast is the one not being cooperative!  I guess that is how it goes sometimes.  [...]

The good news . . . I only spent six days in the hospital, and the doc was able to find an oral antibiotic that worked against my strain of MSRA (so no IV antibiotics needed).  The bad news . . . well, not really bad I guess.  More of what is expected . . . the staph infection is slowly going away.  Much of my lower breast skin and muscle tissue has been eaten away.  My body is fighting pretty hard to reject the tissue expander.  So the past few 22 days I have had some pretty crappy days, but mostly good.  I will take that.[...]

I really truly want to write a positive upbeat journal entry since my last few have been very tough and raw.  My only issue is I don't get to much work with; however, I am going to do my best to make this as upbeat as possible.[...]

Yesterday morning I was on my bike taking a nice long therapeutic ride listening to my great cancer fight playlist.  The entire time I kept thinking about my friends that either had cancer and beat it or that are still fighting the fight.  I know without a doubt I could have never gotten through my battle without the encouraging words and support these people provided me.  Of course there were many more fantastic friends and family that provided me lots of support . . . but there is just something about the words of someone that has or is going through exactly what you are.  Doesn't have to be cancer, you know?  It also doesn't have to be the exact same fight or journey, because as I learned no two cancer journeys are alike.  But when you are fighting for your life, there is something so powerful about knowing you are not alone. [...]

July 29, 2016 I was given the best news I could ask for.  No more cancer - complete remission.  All should be good.  I should feel like a million bucks.  I should be jumping up and down.  So why is this not the case?  Why don't I feel so great - physically or mentally?  My last chemo treatment was June 16th, and my bilateral mastectomy was July 13th.  Today is August 9th!  I understand that Dr. Amir, my oncologist, explained the four weeks after my last chemo treatment would be awful.  It's been longer than four weeks.  It's been almost a month since my mastectomy.  These thoughts have continuously been spinning around my little brain for the last few weeks.  [...]

Is it possible to be lost for words?  Is it common to feel like you are in a dream?  Is it typical to second guess?  These things and so many more are running through my head. It's crazy but it's like the polar opposite when I was first diagnosed with cancer. It took me weeks, maybe even months before I could say out loud "I have cancer".  Now I sit next to Greg on our drive home having the most difficult time reaching out to anyone or just writing this journal entry. Well, I got to at least write it . . . Right?  Okay, here it goes . . . I am in complete remission!  I am fucking cancer free today!  I got shit done and kicked cancer's ass!  Cancer 0 - BLG 1!  There is no more poison in Mommy's body![...]

Yeah, received my gene panel results, and of the 21 genes tested they all came back negative!  Woot woot!  So this mans I am not at greater risk to get any of the cancers they tested for.  This also means that my go forward treatment will not change at this point.  This is very very good news.  Now we just wait for my pathology results which I get on the 29th.  Fingers crossed this journey is nearing the end.[...]

Great news everyone!!!  My in home nurse came today, looked at my drain spots, and provided me the all clear to shower!!!  Woot woot! (Insert sarcasm). Oh, and my surgical oncologist called and my pathology report will not be available until July 29th instead of 25th.  So small change to my appointment.  Okay . . . that's all I got . . . no more to talk about my health or any doctors appointments.  That's it. But for some reason I feel I have more to say.  Well you can thank my company for this as I have been on STD and completely cut out; I am overdosed on US politics; and you can only watch so much sports and play so much candy crush. Well, I guess cancer is part of this post because without cancer there would not be all this free time for me to think and clarify some important life items for me.[...]

My bilateral mastectomy was a success on July 13th.  Both breasts removed, one night in the hospital, and home since to heal. Today my drains were removed, and fingers crossed I get to shower on Friday.  Typical healing time takes 4 to 8 weeks.  I have my surgical oncologist appointment on July 25th, and we are hoping for pathology reports to be completed by then.  July 26th I will then do the gene testing results.  By the end of July 26th I should know if I conquered cancer or have a bit longer to go.  Either way, I know I am stronger than this disease, and I will beat it![...]

Wow, I cannot believe I have had over 30,000 visits to my posthope.org page.  That is just amazing.  Thank you so much for reading and supporting me through my cancer journey.  It means the world to me.  Wow . . . that just blows my mind.  My heart feels so full, especially as I get prepared for my second surgery tomorrow - the big one.[...]