It's taken me a bit of energy to muster up enough strength to provide an update since my fourth chemo treatment on Thursday.  So this morning I finally do, and wouldn't you know it . . . I lose the entire blog.  All gone. Okay, okay so is this a big deal or a small deal?  After several descriptive words and a bit of a temper tantrum, it's a small deal, and it turned out in hindsight to be a good deal.  I sat on this chair for several hours feeling completely miserable.  My fifth consecutive day since chemo feeling awful.  As I was adding one photo to my blog, bam, it's all gone in the blink of an eye.  Curse, yell, curse, yell, and even a stomp.  Then all of a sudden I realize I feel the best I have since chemo.  Was it my blogging that made me feel better?  Was it my burst of anger, which was an actual exertion of some energy?  Who knows, so I will say a combination . . . anyways, I feel good enough to try to recreate my latest blog - so that is a real good deal![...]

One of the limited memories I have of my birth father is one of his favourite words I heard him use numerous times . . . jag.  If someone wasn't being nice or someone cut him off while driving he would call them a jag.  But he also used this word in the nickname he called me - Jaggy Lynn.  Please don't confuse his nickname for me as a derogatory term.  I know he meant it as a term of endearment.  And people that know me well know I intermingle descriptive words with terms of endearment such as "asshole" (guess that is trait I have picked up from my birth father).  And if you have been fortunate enough to be called an "asshole" by me you know how much I truly love you![...]

On this Saturday morning, I am in need of some internal soul searching . . . so I must write.  The recent news from my new surgeon Dr. M. has me confused, sad, stressed, and angry.  What do I know?  That I have another tumor. I also know this changes my treatment plan.  What I don't know is how this changes my prognosis.  As there is absolutely nothing I can do with this current news besides stay on course with my chemo treatment until I get my MRI and gene panel tests, I must dig down deep and find the fortitude to keep on keeping on.[...]

Was I planning on blogging today?  No.  Was I was planning on receiving the news I received from my first visit with my new surgeon?  No.  However, like everyday you have cancer, you never know what the day is going to bring you.  As the days go on with cancer the realization continues to sink in - you have no control.[...]

A week or so ago I heard Bobbie talking on the phone with a coworker.  It was one of the many times over the last few months I sat listening while she explained to someone she had cancer.  But this time something different came out.  "Yes, so I have chemo." she said.  She meant "I have cancer." of course, but it came out "chemo".  It sounded funny but as it sank in it made a lot of sense why she would make that slip.[...]

Today is a chemo day - Round 2.  More importantly than me being one treatment closer to the end of chemo, I am actually feeling well enough to blog today!  I cannot promise how long this will be (thus the photos to take up some space) or if my writing skills will be top notch due to chemo brain, but here goes . . .[...]

I am a firm believer in not recreating the wheel, which leads to my love of motivational and inspirational quotes.  If someone else has already selected the absolutely most perfect set of words to articulate something with so much power, why try to change it - use it!  Also, if you read one that tugs at your heart strings in just the right way it can change your day in an instant.[...]

Who would have thought me, Bobbie, Big Mouth, Bossy Lynn Goldie, BLG, would be lost for words.  But that is exactly what my first round of chemo has done to me and why it has taken me so long to find the right words to share my first chemo journey with you.  For the first four days Greg would ask me how I feel, what do I need, what should he do, and I, for the life of me had no words.  I couldn't come close to describing my physical feelings or what I needed from him.  The first four days consisted of me sleeping, crying, vomiting, aching, being restless, crying, wait did I say sleeping?[...]

First let me apologize to anyone coming here hoping to find another heartfelt gem written by my beautiful, talented and determined wife. For today you'll have to settle for me, Greg giving an update on day 119...day 1.[...]

Today Greg and I spent about four hours at Princess Margaret Cancer Hospital (PMH) getting prepared for our first chemo treatment on Thursday.  We had lots to do there today . . . check on my blood work to ensure I am healthy enough to start chemo; meet with the oncologist to understand the process and ask any final questions, such as will I really lose my eyelashes; made an appointment with the look good/feel good/wig shop to learn how to pencil in my eyebrows, as well as purchase a few items; and pick up all my prescriptions and learn how to take before and after chemo.  Boy, that place is really exhausting.[...]